TRANSCRIPT OF ALI G INTERVIEW WITH ELTON JOHN......

Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John Elton.<br>Respect.<br><br>Elton John: It\'s Elton John actually Ali.<br><br>Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty boy cause I Erd<br>dat<br>you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was mingin?<br><br>Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably deep<br>down<br>I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days especially it was not<br>socially acceptable to be gay.<br><br>Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin\' jiggy did you fink about people<br>like<br>James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you wouldn\'t end up<br>wiv a<br>floppy or woz you trisexual and didn\'t care where you was stickin\' Mr biggy?<br><br>Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself I wasn\'t gay so<br>I<br>never had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now know I am<br>homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a woman now.<br><br>Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr biggy wasn\'t coming<br>out<br>to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz I drank a<br>bottle<br>of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink it woz coz me Julie isn\'t<br>very<br>subtractive now in fact she\'s a dog.<br><br>Elton John:I think you\'re Julie was right - it takes one to know one.<br><br>Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the bitch won\'t take<br>it<br>up the exit hole, I\'ve tried slipping it in a few times. Happarently Julie<br>is<br>too nice a girl for batty sex but she\'s not too nice for a threesome wiv me<br>mate<br>Dave - it woz wicked!<br><br>Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on anal sex just as I know some<br>gay<br>men who are not keen on it either. Just because you\'re gay doesn\'t mean that<br>you<br>have to like it - there are other ways to express yourself sexually with<br>another<br>man.<br><br>Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic.<br><br>Elton John: Gaelic?<br><br>Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other.<br><br>Elton John: Sure, oral sex is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual<br>massage<br>can be very enjoyable for example.<br><br>Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you\'re orange<br>juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens - I hear<br>dat<br>you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat because you is a<br>feminist?<br><br>Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn\'t<br>describe<br>myself as a feminist.<br><br>Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists?<br><br>Elton John: Eh?<br><br>Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton Cause I<br>fink he is rank.<br><br>Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John Elton.<br><br>Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you?<br><br>Elton John: No, that\'s not my real name but my stage name. Many performers<br>change their names to try to sound more appealing to the public. Take Gary<br>Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd - can you imagine the same<br>guy<br>selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me as Reg Dwight?<br><br>Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary<br>Glitter<br>coz he\'s a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos - how\'s yer mate<br>George<br>Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the preverted bastard.<br><br>Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said enough<br>of<br>the gay talk. I\'d much rather you concentrated on another aspect of me.<br><br>Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you not<br>fink<br>dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total dick in the<br>seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da seventies.<br><br>Elton John: If you\'re going to insult me any more I will walk out of the<br>interview - I can put up with a lot but you\'re going too far<br><br>Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the Wind<br>song<br>when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated by da SAS on da<br>Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat pissed French c*nt.<br><br>Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend of<br>mine<br>whom I loved very much - I don\'t want to discuss it.<br><br>Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she a<br>femisist or somefink?<br><br>Elton John: (Elton leaves the room)<br><br>Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is just too<br>sensidine.<br>It must be all da years hangin wiv da homosapiens and havin his batty<br>bashed.<br>Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv me boyz westside. Boyakasha.